One of the most recent conflicts that I have recently had
was with one of my colleagues. While the conflict did not result in anger or
having a “fight”, I could definitely tell there was some tension because of our
two differing viewpoints. During the situation I wanted to change my classroom
around and I told my co-teacher my ideas. Since we have to keep a lot of things
in mind while rearranging a classroom I decided to ask for some of her input on
a few things. She then began to give suggestions that I did not necessarily
like but I valued her opinion. It was then time for me to leave for the day and
a few hours later my co-teacher called me to inform me that she decided to go
ahead and rearrange a few things in the classroom. I became a little annoyed
that she went ahead and changed things and we never finalized how the classroom
would be rearranged. It was a Friday and since I had no idea as to how she
changed the classroom I decided to go ahead and go up on Saturday to change the
classroom the way I had intended instead of waiting on Monday. One Monday I
explained to her how I just decided to rearrange the entire classroom on
Saturday. She did not seem annoyed but I’m sure she felt the same way I did.
During this conflict it would have been beneficial to use
nonviolent communication in this scenario. We should have at some point
listened to what each other were saying and try to understand what the other
person was saying instead of making decisions without the other person knowing.
While we did not have an argument, nonviolent communication would have helped
in the tension and bad feelings that we had towards one another. Another
strategy that we should have worked through was thinking of solutions to the
problem (changing the classroom) instead of saying nothing. Since my co-teacher
was giving suggestions that I did not necessarily liked I should have voiced
them and she in turn if I suggested something that she was not particularly
fond of. I think working through the conflict instead of not truly talking
about it has caused tension and annoyance between us at that time. Since this
incident I have been trying to be more open to her about what I am trying to
say and also respectful to what she is trying to say to me. Learning about
better and effective communication skills has helped me to understand how to
work through tough conflicts such as this.
It is sometimes so hard to compromise with our colleagues because we all have a different way and reason for doing things. I am in a similar situation with a coworker because we share the classroom, and we don't always agree on what should be done in the classroom. I try to look at what's best for the children rather than the two of us. I like the strategies you chose,and I am going to try to use more strategies in regards to coming up with solutions with my colleague in the classroom, as opposed to being annoyed with her. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHello Heather,
ReplyDeleteThat would be difficult for me, as I enjoy moving things around to make them more interesting for the children, and a coworker doing that while I was gone would take the fun away from me. I don't know how often you change things around, but maybe you could take turns. She could make her changes one month, and then you could make your changes the following month if you both enjoy that sort of thing. You bring up a good point that it can cause tension if not addressed. That was a great example, thanks for sharing!
Heather,
ReplyDeleteIt can be hard working so closely with another individual but be have to do it effectively is such a great reward. It is amazing that you were able to take this weeks topic and apply it to a real life situation. One of the things you mentioned in your post was that you should have been honest with her so that she understood how you truly felt. This is a common mistake that many people make. Sometimes we feel that is better not to say something for fear that we might insult or hurt someone's feelings. It can promote unproductive conflict because it has a negative impact of the individuals involved (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, pg. 220). Being open and honest in a respectful manner can help build trust and understanding in any relationship. I wish you the best as you continue to work collaboratively.